On the topic of 'passing it to next generation', it needs some background. I am going to bore you with a long story
Just like most children growing up, I wanted to be a professional athlete. I started playing soccer at my early childhood. I am from a tropical country, so the damp weather keeps the skin dehydrated. However, even in tropical country, it was difficult to play after September. Not to toot my own horn, but I was quite good at soccer. However, children asked me so many uncomfortable questions that I stopped playing soccer. Now that I look back being a middle aged man, I wish I was stronger to overcome those petty self-esteem issues.
Surprisingly, my skin started to improve(still quite scaly but it stopped bleeding). I started playing soccer again in my high school. Now, I discovered a new phenomena which became a huge issue. Overheating to a point that I passed out in the field at least dozens of times, that was the end of my soccer aspiration.
I started playing cricket as its fully dressed sports and physical requirement was a lot less than soccer. I distinctly remember, when I was 17 years old, I was playing for my high school, and I was so tired that I needed a runner(runner does all the running, you just bat the ball). It was so embarrassing that I took myself out of the team.
I did not have that many friends growing up, but the limited friends that I had, they were extremely loyal. However, I used to take their compassion as a sign of pity( I know self-esteem issue). I always treated my close friends with harsh words.
After I graduated from high school, I immigrated to United States. Usually first generation immigrant has serious confidence issues. However, exact opposite took place for me. In my under grad years I became very confident(or learned to mask my self-esteem issues). I started to excel in school and I had a normal youth. However, I was still bit nervous about relationship. I did have a few brief relationship with few amazing girls. However, I noticed that I only started pursue women during summer. Also, I really started having a negative opinion about relationship in my head. I would just pursue one night stand or brief encounters.
I moved to New York City, and continued with adult life. Not interested in any relationship, and just looking for one night stand. However, I also discovered meeting women became much difficult as oppose to college(hard to believe considering NYC). At any rate, I continued in that path for almost 5 more years.
Then one night I met a girl through a mutual friend. Without going into details, we were perfect for each other. Fast forward to six years, she became pregnant last year. At the same time she had further academic aspiration. We spoke and I convinced her that for her career aspirations, a child is a wrong choice for the time being. She had an abortion. However, I knew the reason I convinced her to have an abortion because I cannot consciously put a child through what I endured in my life.
I am no longer with the girl and I think its for the best.