using the internet is a waste. if you find someone that has the same thing as you ok it makes sense. its easy to hide behind a computer screen. if you meet them in person then they know what you look like and they already had the chance to run. if they didnt your in much better shape. i used to do that when i was younger. it never worked because when they meet you if you told them or not they would notice. it takes a special person to understand what makes you you cant be changed. that person will also not want you any other way.

as far as the fat girl thing. no it wouldn't get me sick because i like being supportive and making people feel better about themselves. if she is fat and unattractive then she is. When I am with the person i love i forget for a moment who i am. Its a time of peace. other girls i havent had that feeling. if you dont try you never get hurt. if you do try you will get hurt. thats the safe way but its pretty lonely. I never thought i would find anyone that i could be totally open with. i was wrong. i might actually find more throughout my life.