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#19848 - 01/30/04 12:17 PM
Re: relationships
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Member
Registered: 01/06/02
Posts: 913
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
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Hey Niels....
I thought I was your new interest.....hahahaha, JUST JOKING And yes, I couldn't hide my skin if I tried either, so that is why I have never bothered from the word go....
I think my confidence in bearing lots of skin, is due to my mother leaving me lying with nothing on as a baby....
I COULDN'T wear clothes THEN, and I HATE wearing lots of clothes now...They only make me overheat, scratch my ears raw, sweat, stink etc...
Regards who it is easier for, to date...I think it is harder for women, because they have to keep up with the beauty allusion, that attracts men first...
It just blows me away, the people who have found accepting partners, who have no existing health issue or disability....
Although I feel that people like us Niels, who have some more physical limitations find it harder, because people often don't want to be held back from their usual activities...
I also feel that the extremely thick palms may turn people off the most, particularly in a sexual relationship, even after 20 years, I still feel guilty that I don't have nice soft smooth hands for my husband. However, I am fortunate in that my husband has cerebral palsy so we have a very special bond, and we understand each other, and help each other in daily life...But if I hadn't have met him at school, I very much doubt I would be with anyone else now...
But I am sure I will be reminded that it is all in our personalities, LOL (and I guess it is true)...the more shy one is, the harder it would be for others to break that awkward ice...and if one demonstrates that they are uncomfortable with their own skin, then others will perhaps pick up on that.
Pauline.
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#19849 - 01/30/04 02:17 PM
Re: relationships
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Niels, I can't hide my Ichthyosis either. When I first got a computer an old friend of mine showed me how to load msn chat and get an ID. Then he gave me all of our old friends ID's that had moved away and we had kept in contact with. I started chatting alot with a buddy of mine who lives in Northern California, then his wife took over the computer and I rarely got to talk to him anymore. One night while taking to his wife she said that her cousin was online, should we invite her to chat with us? I said sure, I didn't know who she was. Like yourself, I wasn't looking for a relationshipat all. Since I am a nightowl and she worked the swing shift, I found her online at night alot. To make a long story short I chatted and talked to her on the phone for months without ever telling her I had Ichthyosis. Then came the big question, "when are you going to come up here and meet me?" I used every excuse I had not to meet her for weeks even months. Finally I figured I had better tell her so she would quit hounding me. To my surprise, the next day, she had looked up Ichthyosis on the web, found the FIRST site for me, told me there was a conference coming up, completely blew me away. I finally went and met her, more nervous then I had ever been, once the introductions were over and we were in a more private setting I showed her my Ichthyosis and basically said this is it, what do you think? If she had shown any hesitation or ignorance I would have left right away. I should have told her in the beginning but I never had any intention of marrying this girl, let alone meeting her. Pauline, who says my wife doesn't have an existing health or disability, she's crazy like all women [img] http://www.ichthyosis.com/ubb/smile.gif[/img]. Keith.
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#28949 - 06/15/13 03:06 AM
Re: relationships
[Re: dslacker]
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Member
Registered: 06/15/13
Posts: 8
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Not just relationship but overall from psychological point of view, IV can leave you dry(no pun intended). I will conceptually try to share my observation.
If you have severe IV, your childhood is ruined, people pick on you a lot, which cultivates as low self-esteem and major psychological problems.
Obviously, the most profound human characteristic is the ability to over come any obstacle in life. So, most of us grow up normal but bad seeds are left behind.
As a full adult, even this day, I can admit that I some how manage to push people away, hurt people, and feel comfortable in solitude and I believe that is a norm among most people with IV.
However, we have to strive to be better human being. We should not be bounded by our physical traits rather our mental and intellectual ability to push forward define who we are!
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#28950 - 06/15/13 03:12 AM
Re: relationships
[Re: dslacker]
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Member
Registered: 06/15/13
Posts: 8
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Not just relationship but overall from psychological point of view, IV can leave you dry(no pun intended). I will conceptually try to share my observation.
If you have severe IV, your childhood is ruined, people pick on you a lot, which cultivates as low self-esteem and major psychological problems.
Obviously, the most profound human characteristic is the ability to over come any obstacle in life. So, most of us grow up normal but bad seeds are left behind.
As a full adult, even this day, I can admit that I some how manage to push people away, hurt people, and feel comfortable in solitude and I believe that is a norm among most people with IV.
However, we have to strive to be better human being. We should not be bounded by our physical traits rather our mental and intellectual ability to push forward define who we are!
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