Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#20825 - 05/02/07 08:49 AM relationship vs intimacy!
katinka Offline
Member

Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 7
Loc: south africa
hi im new to this site! im 21yrs and recently discovered that i have ichthyosis! im dating a guy for the past three months, and we have decided to take our rship to the level! my concern is sud i explain my condition before we get intimate and im also scared on his reaction, will he still feel the same way about me???

Top
#20826 - 05/02/07 01:23 PM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
PsychGal Offline

Member

Registered: 04/10/07
Posts: 70
Loc: By a large mountain
If you've dated this guy for three months, there must be enough there to indicate a mutual interest. Your best bet is to be honest with him, so he knows what to expect (ie dry skin or any other symptoms you experience) and isn't surprised by anything. You will be better off explaining the condition and letting him ask questions, rather than trying to pretend it does not exist.

Personally, when I was in the dating world, (I've been married for five years now) I was pretty upfront about my skin from Day 1 and never had a bad experience with the opposite sex and I think this is because I was honest and open about my situation. If the guy is worth it, he'll see you for who YOU are, and not just your skin. If he decides it's something he can't get past - he wasn't worth your time anyways. No one is perfect physically, it is just icthyosis is more visible than most conditions out there.

Good luck!



[This message has been edited by PsychGal (edited May 02, 2007).]

Top
#20827 - 05/03/07 07:08 AM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
katinka Offline
Member

Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 7
Loc: south africa
thank u so much, but the key issue is that i just recently discovered the disease, just about two weeks. how do i tell my boyfriend if im still comin to terms with it???

Top
#20828 - 05/03/07 03:56 PM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
Hearsay Offline


Member

Registered: 01/16/04
Posts: 1449
Loc: Richmond, VA, USA
I'm guessing that you're coping with IV, then, if you've gone 21 years without knowing you had ichthyosis.

I agree with Psychgal. Tell him upfront. If he decides you're not worth his time because of your skin, then he clearly wasn't the right guy for you anyway. He's had 3 months to get to know more of you than just your skin issues, so hopefully he'll have enough sense to judge you as a person instead of you as a freak-show exhibit or something. Which, of course, you're not. It's your skin. It's not really any different than your hair color or blood type. It's just the way you are.

If you don't tell him, he might mistake your scaling for lack of bathing or something contagious, as people often do.
_________________________
Jennifer
Ichthyosis-en-Confetti Type 2
Husband, Nathan - 10, Elliot - 7, Oliver - 4, all affected.
I also have an unaffected daughter, age 8.


email: jennifer at confettiskin dot com
facebook - find me on "ichthyosis mommy spot" or "friends of ichthyosis"

Top
#20829 - 05/03/07 11:01 PM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
PsychGal Offline

Member

Registered: 04/10/07
Posts: 70
Loc: By a large mountain
If you are still coming to terms with it - then tell him that too! I don't see any reason to hide that from him either. Also, if you were just recently diagnosed, there are many avenues from which you can obtain more information. Are you familiar with FIRST? ( www.scalyskin.org ) It's important that YOU understand everything you are dealing with and what to expect. The more knowledge you have regarding your own condition, the whole "unknown" factor won't seem so scary, and this can be made known to him. Just be open and upfront about everything and say where you are with it. Again, if he's worth it, he'll still stick it out.

Top
#20830 - 05/04/07 01:00 AM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
pauline5 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/02
Posts: 913
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Hi Katinka, how ya doing?

Good advice given so far, and perhaps think about this...if you can learn to become comfortable and educated about your ichthyosis, then imagine with time, the special bond you may create with your new boyfriend...and anyone worth being with will stick by you, and not judge you apart from the reason they were attracted to you from the beginning...

Good luck with it all...and i am so pleased that this thread is back up and running for the young ones again...

and Psych Gal, with your gorgeous looks how could anyone even notice your icthyosis anyway...hheeehehhe, joking everyone...we all need respect and dignity, not just the outer beautiful people in this world...

Pauline

Top
#20831 - 05/04/07 01:15 PM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
PsychGal Offline

Member

Registered: 04/10/07
Posts: 70
Loc: By a large mountain
Pssst! I paid Pauline $20 to say that! =)

Top
#20832 - 05/07/07 09:05 AM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
katinka Offline
Member

Registered: 05/02/07
Posts: 7
Loc: south africa
thanks alot,i have decided to discuss the problem with my boyfriend. so wish me luck!!!

Top
#20833 - 05/07/07 12:57 PM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
PsychGal Offline

Member

Registered: 04/10/07
Posts: 70
Loc: By a large mountain
Lots of luck! Keep us posted on how you are doing!

Top
#20834 - 05/10/07 07:13 AM Re: relationship vs intimacy!
pauline5 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/06/02
Posts: 913
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Quote:
Originally posted by PsychGal:


Pssst! I paid Pauline $20 to say that! =)


ahhhh, no ya didn't hehehe, and Dan just said he would ask for double $20...

I have been trying to get you on AIM, but i guess you are back in USA, so we are all balls up now...

Love Pauline

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Copyright 2012 Ichthyosis Information