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#16823 - 04/12/06 08:31 PM Sex?!
VickyHill Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/08/06
Posts: 1
Loc: Layton,UT,USA
I don't want this post to sound desprite or utterly confused. But How do you get from point A to B. I've had my share of phone sex, online sex and, have even been out on dates (all due to the fact that I made the effort). I'm completely comfortable with my sexuality but, when a man sees my body the deal is done that is there is no transaction. I'm 23 and am feeling like theres no hope for a real physical relationship in my future. I'm a great companion, funny, outgoing, artistic, and caring. But that's where it ends. Men love me but can't seem to get physical with me.
My problem right now is I have a guy I've been out with, we talk a lot about are ideas and intamate levels of creativity (writing and painting and such), We're connecting and I'm exstatic, but I'm scared! The last 2 times I got physical with a man they both "couldn't do it". They took a complete look at my body and stopped.
Please help me. I truly feel like giving up. Like men will always "be friends".
I have EHK on everywhere but my face and the palms of hands and feet. So theres no hidding it. I've tried the acids to reduce the scaling, bath thouroughly every day(1hr in the bath + 1hr drying and lotioning)and have asked my "true friends" if I have any odors that they can detect. I'm aware of my apperance and am Proud of it. I'm beautiful. Any ideas or even words of encouragment from any of you in our little skin disorders family would be greatly appreiated. Loves and Dreams to you all, Miss Vicky

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#16824 - 04/16/06 06:15 AM Re: Sex?!
PrayerKaren Offline
Member

Registered: 11/21/00
Posts: 84
Loc: Hemet, CA, United States
Quote:
Originally posted by VickyHill:
I don't want this post to sound desperate or utterly confused. But How do you get from point A to B. I've had my share of phone sex, online sex and, have even been out on dates (all due to the fact that I made the effort). I'm completely comfortable with my sexuality but, when a man sees my body the deal is done that is there is no transaction. I'm 23 and am feeling like thereís no hope for a real physical relationship in my future. I'm a great companion, funny, outgoing, artistic, and caring. But that's where it ends. Men love me but can't seem to get physical with me.
My problem right now is I have a guy I've been out with, we talk a lot about are ideas and intimate levels of creativity (writing and painting and such), We're connecting and I'm ecstatic, but I'm scared! The last 2 times I got physical with a man they both "couldn't do it". They took a complete look at my body and stopped.
Please help me. I truly feel like giving up. Like men will always "be friends".
I have EHK on everywhere but my face and the palms of hands and feet. So thereís no hiding it. I've tried the acids to reduce the scaling, bath thoroughly every day (1hr in the bath + 1hr drying and lotioning) and have asked my "true friends" if I have any odors that they can detect. I'm aware of my appearance and am Proud of it. I'm beautiful. Any ideas or even words of encouragement from any of you in our little skin disorders family would be greatly appreciated. Loves and Dreams to you all, Miss Vicky


Vicky,

I must say I believe it's a maturity thing. Many men your age are generally out for one thing and one thing only and if they can't get past the EHK then they aren't worth your time. I have EHK as does my Mother and my Daughter, we have all had relationships, and at one time I was dating quite a bit and I must say some of the men I dated were model material. Of course men didnít really start to notice me until I hit around 19 but I dated many gorgeous men. Only problem with that was, they tend to think they were all that and a bag of chips on top lol. I have been married twice and let it be known right off the bat that if they couldn't accept me for me skin problem as well as the fact I wear a prosthesis on my left leg plus have two fingers missing and a toe missing then they can't accept me and were simply wasting my time.

My daughter also has dated and is now married to a nice young man, and yes she had some relationships where they were embarrassed by her, but I told her, if they are embarrassed then they aren't worth your time anyway. In the end she met and married someone who was worth her time and could accept her for who she was.

My mother has also been married three times and dated endless men. Unfortunately many of them used her and she was so desperate to be loved that it didn't matter to her that they were only after sex. In the end she met and married a man who she stayed married to for well over 20 years before she lost him to illness a couple of years ago and she has already been out on a few dates. So I really feel a lot of it has to do with maturity. If they are worth having then they will accept you with EHK and all. For those who don't, don't spend your time stressing out over them.

You know, the funny thing is, I was always more self conscience about my leg than I was about my skin problem. lol Anyway dear, keep your self respect and don't compromise your self worth in an effort to make yourself feel more worthy. Youíre perfect just as you are and the right man will see and respect that in you.


God bless you,

------------------
Karen L. Sawyer
_________________________
Karen L. Sawyer

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#16825 - 07/13/06 04:20 PM Re: Sex?!
pollybundle Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 3
Loc: Scotland
Hi Vicky

I would like to give you a view on the other side of your topic.

When I first had sex with my , now hubby, Michael (who has EHK) I was not sure how I would react. I admit i was a bit scared, but not in a bad way, I was more like scared incase I was going to hurt him whilst in that situation and not being able to know how to deal with it incase I did.

He was really good before hand though, as he explanied that his condition was all over his body etc and not just on his arms, (that were visible all the time with him wearing t-shirts etc) So he prepared me incase I did get a fright. But I didn't as I saw past what he looked like and wanted to be with him because I loved him for him.

If someone truely cares/loves you then they would see you for who you really are and not care what your body looks like. Just remember that for all the guys that have hurt or upset you in that way that you can do a whole lot better than them but they won't get any better than you. xx

Gail xx
gailgreen5@aol.com

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#16826 - 09/05/06 12:45 AM Re: Sex?!
grapeape Offline
Member

Registered: 09/04/06
Posts: 11
Loc: Port Lavaca, Texas
Vicky,
Please dont be discouraged, My girlfriend also has EHK. At first I was a little scared to make love to her out of fear that I would hurt her. Not because of the way she looked. But we do enjoy an active sex-life. It takes time to find the right person out there. I know you have heard the cliche' Stop looking and you will find what your looking for. Just remember that yes sex is part of a relationship , but it should not be THE RELATIONSHIP. Keep your chin up and remember that if someone cant accept you for YOU then they are not worth it.
_________________________
Where is my wallet.

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